The Most Wonderful Time of the Year… Hawaiian Style

I love Christmas. I love everything about it.

I love belting out Christmas carols at the top of my voice

I love singing them soft and slow to myself when the holiday stress hits

I love love love the beautiful ornaments and big Christmas trees in the malls

I love to leave cookies out for Santa- and then eat half of them myself

I love the smells of Christmas, sugar cookies, pine, spices

I love the stories of Christmas about kindness and goodness

I love when my neighbors show up with homemade baked goodies and sing carols or when it’s my job to do it and I of course have the most fantabulous baked goods on the block because I am Baird’s daughter

I love the smiles that come with Christmas

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I j’adore the message of Christmas that for all the pain and sorrow in the world there is, there is just as much good if you know how to look for it.

I had an appointment in Honolulu and I made time to go see a hula show there and it was so enjoyable and the island reggae Christmas music guys mwah it is just delightful. I also got my hair straightened AND I got a peppermint shake at Haagen Daz and enjoyed it immensely HA take that, anorexia. 🙂

 

I love Christmas because it’s a time to reflect on who I am as a person and like most people I struggle with contentment. It’s the nature of man to seek out the new and exciting and change, despite our resistance to change within ourselves. It’s a time when I reflect on Christ and of course everyone has an individual relationship with their own spirituality. Every year I always feel so selfish and guilty when people give me gifts because the truth is I don’t need half of what I have to be happy.

It is the truth that all we pursue, our delights, our pleasures, is so so temporary.

It’s what inside that counts.

The fool thinks he is wise and the wise knows he is a fool…

I know personally in my life that continually I must work on all of this. But I get stressed out over getting the “perfect” gift and I am always trying to have “perfect” relationships. For instance today was a gloomy day. I had to deal with PTSD stuff and finals are next week and my period is looming on the edge of the horizon.One of the things I do when I get stressed is obsessive ‘stress cleaning’ my room, stress studying on google for 5 hours, obsessive study of languages, obsessive exercise, and a mad desire to bite off more than I can chew and lose myself in art projects like the hakus I made for my sister and my cousin. This week was stress painting and reading.

As a little girl with very few friends and a lot of hardships at home I found a sanctuary in my imagination. Daydreaming and creating art, expressing ourselves, feeds our spirit itself. Dreams are what keep us going.

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Life is full of wonder if only you look for it.

When I was younger (and heck I still do it now) I would curl up with a stack of books on the ottoman next to the couch and I would read about unicorns, dragons, warriors, elves, hobbits, and I adored all of it. As I got older the books got darker and lost that sense of wonder. You’ll find that in adult books there is a lot of depressing material and nostalgia that is more a grief of a childhood lost than anything else. I will vote for A Christmas Carol though, that book is for adults and children alike and it is excellent.

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My voracious reading fed my appetite for wonderment. I know that when we get older it is expected to not daydream about faerie and dragons and such but hello, why not? We rely on our computer and video games to create our fantasies. How have we forgotten so easily the joy of individuality, of exercising our potential to fantasize about the stories we enjoyed on the knees of our obliging parents? How have we forgotten what a gift it is to dream?

I’ve revisited Barbie movies (the ones like Barbie in the Story of the Nutcracker, Barbie and Pegasus, Barbie as Rapunzel. Barbie in Swan Lake, not the newer ones as much) and stories I used to love and fairytales and I have found a form of escape from the mental illnesses eating away at me. It’s temporary, always, but it is a form of sanctuary in my very turbulent life.

So, try for happy endings. ❤

 

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