NOBODY PANIC

Where is my favorite person in the world today? Is she somewhere exotic magnificently clad in denim shorts and a bikini top say, in Brazil?

Well first of all for those of you who had these thoughts, thank you for choosing me as your favorite person. World domination is easier when the general populace adores you, I speak from experience.

A lot of what is going on I actually can’t tell you đŸ˜± I know, if I won’t talk about it. It must be bad. Well. It is.

The lowdown is thanks to my PTSD and several other personal problems I failed a class and may have failed another class (😐 in my defense. There were only 3 assignments. 3. I failed ONE teensy weensy little math quiz but oh wait, if there is no class assignments, then that’s my overall grade! I am being dramatic about it of course, but that’s what I do best so there.) And math we knew I would flunk that one. My head does not do math. Flat out refuses. We actually suspect a form of dyslexia to be the culprit because fun fact when I read words and letters move and I read in the strangest order. Like end of paragraph and then beginning. That’s actually how I can read Spanish and French though I have never touched a Latin book. I look at the word and the letters move and I know what it means.

So before it looks like this maybe

Después de la fuerte tormenta, el barco finalmente logró recalar en el puerto

My head sees fuerte first and I think of a stormy feeling and then tormenta and see it doesn’t just move things, other parts of the sentence fade. So so barco fades away and finalmente I see the words final moment and recalar because logro fades and then the port. Puerto.

So without looking at any translation I know a ship finally returned to port after a storm.

.After the big storm, the ship finally put in at the port.

 

Now French example- never took a class on it mind you

Artemis tapota sur la table pour attirer son attention.

– Vous portez des mocassins faits sur mesure, une chemise en soie et trois chevaliĂšres en or. Vous avez une pointe d’accent d’Oxford et l’éclat discret de vos ongles montre qu’ils ont Ă©tĂ© manucurĂ©s il y a peu de temps. Vous n’ĂȘtes pas serveur. Vous ĂȘtes Nguyen Xuan, notre contact, et vous avez adoptĂ© ce petit dĂ©guisement ridicule pour vĂ©rifier discrĂštement si nous ne sommes pas armĂ©s.

The first sentence I just know. Artemis tapped on the table to command the man’s attention.

The second sentence what order I see word order

Mocassins fait mesure, chemist, vous aves. D’accent d’oxford et l’éclat discret And then I see the words I skipped but I zigzag back up when I read.

I have NO trouble reading up down left right or whatever. My mind actually reads the same way in Chinese but because they are characters it’s different. Together combined they can have meanings that have nothing to do with their roots. But I do have the character switch.

été manucurés il y a peu de and I am sick of writing it but let me show you what happens within a word

discrĂštement- discreet, state of being. Discreetly

Well to me it seems like it should be obvious enough but whatever.

Deguisement- disguise

Verifier- verify

Notre contact- our contact

Tapota- tap. See it makes the sound.

I am bored trying to think slowly about how my head does this.

Here’s a trick. Here is a line of numbers.

1 ,4, 5, 3, 2, 7, 8, 9,4, 24

Find the middle number.

I can’t. I literally can’t. Not unless I write it down and then use my fingers and walk them to the center and I have to do all math on paper because in my head I lose numbers even with simple multiplication. Now. Most of math is word problems.

So knowing what we know, my brain mixes things up and has me read in a zigzag, skipping words it thinks are unimportant. Here is the thing. My brain thinks ALL numbers are unimportant. The date. My parents birthdays my own age. It took me 3 months to memorize my own phone number when I was 12 and yesterday after over a decade of having the same number, I forgot my own phone number.

Also I can’t remember music in order. I am a violinist so naturally I should love classical music? Nu-uh. Not with this brain I don’t.

You know when you hear a catchy tune and your head hits replay for a day and then pulls it out again at some random inconvenient moment? WELL usually if it is stuck in your head it is in ORDER. My head is the ultimate DO.

If I listen to 1 song that is classical, let’s say Vivaldi 4 seasons, my head does not just go through the 4 seasons. It will isolate a part of it and replay and replay over and over again and then it will choose something else, possibly from Tschaikovsky because this is my brain we are talking about and random is life, and repeat for the next 4-6 hours.

3 minutes listening to classical music, and that is the price. And I can play it on my violin but the same thing happens so unless I am reading music uh… it doesn’t end well.

I listen to music in 12 different languages minimum. I prefer Hindi at the moment because to me language is a music and a dance. When you know what the words mean you tie yourself down because then your head says

“MOCASSIN IS A SHOE”

I am learning the devanagari hindi alphabet and then when I have it I will learn Hindi.

How many languages do I speak read and write proficiently? English  (No surprises there), Japanese, Mandarin Chinese, Korean, and Samoan.

Languages I can read/understand but don’t speak listed in order of proficiency: Spanish, French, Tongan, Tahitian, Maori, Tokelauan

Languages I want to learn still: Arabic, Navajo, Hindi

Languages I only want to learn to read: Tibetan, Thai, Elvish.

That being said, I promise if life calms a little bit I will write more about language and culture. I decided to use my accent from back home intentionally from now on because I decided to be proud of my heritage. I have always spoken with little to no accent and definitely no American accent in any language before, but I feel that my English should reflect where I am from.

I have to warn you, I sound like Queen Latifah 99% of the time now. Y’all bettah watch out.

I played a recording of my voice with my home accent going strong and people thought it was a black woman. It was my voice in the recording and as far as I know I don’t got a drop of that blood in my line for the last 200 years at the very least. But it’s who I was around at home and me and my sister both talk like that when we get upset.

Anyways I have to go to sleep now but if this interested you, like it, and I’ll be happy to write more posts about cultural heritage and such

Sidenote: I took Jake out last night and oh my gosh this past month. You will just die when you find out all about it

Good luck sleeping now 😂

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